Shabby Miss Jenn

Monday, January 14, 2013

Why do I Blog?

Why do I blog?
Seems like such a simple question with an answer that would fall quickly from my lips.
When I was asked this question in an email from a new friend, it actually froze me for a moment while I searched for that "one answer". Only to come to the realization that there were many more answers to that simple asked question.

When I first started blogging, it was going to be more "for my business". I would showcase what I was making and where to buy it. Quickly became apparent to me that method wasn't going to work. I started getting questions wanting to know more about me and my life as well.
Blogging shifted into a place and way to share about my life and the things that were happening.
I was enjoying writing to the fullest. The blog was happening on a fairly regular basis. Online magazines had me on staff as a writer. I was investing time and money taking creative writing courses to expand my love and knowledge.

Life has a way of tossing curve balls at you out of the blue. Many of them you can see in time to dodge. Some slam so hard it takes the wind out of you. In my case the desire to write.

I just stopped.
I would sit at the desk and stare at the blank screen.
Words were constantly jumbling in my head but I could no longer find the path for them to get out.
Small moments of writing sometimes would occur.
Before I knew it though, weeks would slip by with nothing.
Those simple weeks morphed into empty spaces for months.
A few times, I caught myself with my finger posed over the delete button.
Why bother to keep something you are no longer using and is just getting dustier by the moment?

Something way in the back of my mind whispered to not hit that button.
 Listening to that whisper became a focus again for me.

Someone came into my life and shifted something inside me.
She loved my writing. She had the ability with her own words to flame the desire to write again.
Her emails to me were filled with requests to always read more. I sent her every article I'd ever written. Whimsical stories were created to have her read before she fell asleep.She told me during a long night of talking, that my blog needed to be dusted off. That more people needed to find me and hear my tales.
She gave me back the ability to hear that inner whisper.
It got louder and clearer to me. It took on her little Irish accent. That detail made her laugh so hard.

She was also dying and we knew that her passing could easily be the trigger to stop my words again.
A promise was made amongst many tears. The flood of raw emotions that were going to sweep over me when she was finally gone were to be harnessed and fuel for my writing.

She passed away and I took much needed time to carefully pick up the shattered pieces of my heart.
A promise to a soul mate is something not easily passed over and forgotten. I wondered if I could write. Would anyone read it? Walking, listening to the last of the autumn leaves whip about the field ,her voice floated to me amongst the wind.

Start writing.
If one person reads it.
If a million people read it.
If no one other then me reads the words as they appear across the screen.
I was to write.

So I'm back to writing.
Business will be talked about.
My life will be talked about.
Stories and whimsical tales will be shared.

A promise is always to be kept


jennifer768 said...

So glad that you made that promise.If you write I will read it.Lovely post and I am sorry for the loss of your dear friend.Blessings,Jen

Anonymous said...

sweet dear Tracy, this is Jeannette, and I assure you there are many people out here who will read your blog. You are so precious and dear to us. And we love you beyond words. Thankyou for being there for me, thankyou for following your heart, and thankyou for keeping your promise.