Shabby Miss Jenn

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Authentic Self

Just a little while ago, I changed my profile photo on Facebook 
as I'm prone to do when the mood strikes.
Something odd happened this time. Someone sent me
 a private message to let me know they thought it strange
 that I take so many photos of myself and post them.


I know that many folks use photos of their children,
 a funny quote or image they found as their profile.
 That has never really been my style. I want it to be a photo
 of "me" so that if friends are searching for me on FB, 
they'll know it's me when they find the profile. 
I'm not talking about the zillion photos folks take
 in every bathroom they seem to find themselves in.
 I use the mirror in my kitchen or I've even managed
 to have some fun outside taking photos.

I don't own a cell phone so having to use my
 big camera sometimes is awkward. 
My husband isn't the type to take photos
 so I hardly ever ask him. My camera is with me
 most of the time and I just started playing with it.
 It's digital so it wasn't like I was going 
to be wasting film.

I just started clicking.

Hardly ever look to see how the photo has been captured 
until I'm sitting back at my computer. 
No filters or tweaking. 
Just what got snapped when
 I pushed the button.

In an online course I'm taking, the teacher made this statement
 that went along with an assignment 
of having to take self portrait.

"I don’t feel that my (or anyone’s) love for self portraits
 comes from arrogance or vanity,
 but rather a sense of self discovery 
and wanting to stimulate
 an internal conversation within myself. 
 Sharing self portraits with the outside world is
 like sharing art, there’s that chance that 
it will resonate with another and
 create a common bond. "
Misty Mawn.

After I read that quote, I began to look closer 
at the photos I was taking.
What was I trying to capture?
An emotion?
A color?
A moment I didn't want to fade.

When I look at these photos,
 I see my authentic self.
No photoshop.
No filters

This is me.

I see ancestors in my face.
My great grandmothers eyes.
My aunts nose.
My jawline is from my father's side of the family.

Laugh lines
Grey hair
Everything Life has opted
to bless me with as 
reminders of how I have lived my life.

Quiet eyes
Shadowed with darkness

Blue grey eyes
tinged with a spark of madness

A sharp tongue
hidden behind the smallest smile
ready to lash out
for either a quick needed laugh
or to put someone in their place.

A mind reflecting on the past.
Daydreaming of the future
and all that may open before me.

A heart that has loved
been broken
and healed again.

A soul
Whispering messages
to always be true
don't be fake
Stay steady on your path.
Be weird
Be Random
Be who you have always meant to be.

When I take my photo,
I see where I have been
and where I'm going
all mixed together at once.

What makes you different,
makes you beautiful.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Newest WIP Painting

Just thought I'd snap a few photos of the latest painting I've been working on.
Adding texture has become such fun for me.
Nothing beats your hands covered with paint, paper and glue ;)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The spark has been rekindled

I have been neglectful of my little online space here and I'm not missing how ironic the situation is that the blog post that brought me back is about writing. There has been a long list of things that at any true moment I could have sat down and written about. I really did wish to share many of them with you.
I've become well versed in stacking as many obstacles in my path to keep me from doing so.
The reality is I allowed myself to create those obstacles based upon loss of drive to put the time in that it takes. I got lazy. I began second guessing myself. Who reads a blog any more? Aren't most folks caught up in the quick glance news feed of Facebook or the instant imagery from Instagram?

Then I happen to see this little video.
The Universe was sending me a very strong message ....... I listened.

Click this link and watch the video...... I'll wait right here.  ;)

  The Conscious Booksmith: A Mindful Approach to Creating Your Book // with Christine Mason Miller from Animyst on Vimeo.

My soul GASPED for air.
Those voices that had been whispering for me to stop writing were slammed into a box and the key was tossed away for the lock.
It wasn't possible for me to click on the sign up link quicker.

I didn't give myself a moment to second guess or question my actions.
I jumped.
This spoke so loudly to my soul.
I'll admit right here that I shed a few tears.

The incredible imagery used in the video and her heartfelt words..... it was like it was created for me to finally WAKE UP to the reality of the unwritten library within me that needs to come to light.
Years worth of stacked journals; worn pages filled with my thoughts and rambles.
Story lines.
Characters and their details.
Page layouts for photography books.
Family history just waiting to be expanded for future generations to discover.

The whispers of my soul are the voices of characters in my books that I will bring to life.

Do you have a book within you?

Watch the video again.
Then sign up for what I can only imagine is going to be one hell of an incredible journey in bringing our dreams to light!