Shabby Miss Jenn

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Days without Sunshine

We seem to be having one of the rainiest seasons that I can recall to memory. As someone who suffers from depression, this can only be handled for so long before I feel my world is about to collapse on top of me and I'm never going to escape my darkness.

My body aches from head to toe. I feel clammy and tired. You can't get the sleep your body needs and craves when the bedsheets feel like you could wring them out and fill a bucket. My mind races a million miles a second and at the same time somehow feels like a slug could win a race against it.

I cry at the drop of a hat. I fight with my thoughts. I snap at everyone around me.
I need sunshine. I am literally a totally different person without it.

Today.......after days of rain(weeks almost!), we finally saw the grey skies begin to clear and I saw hope. My darkness peeled away from me as if it was onion skin. I caught myself smiling. We made plans to get outside and enjoy the sunshine.

We headed over to the edge of our woods for a quick little fire to burn some dead branches that he had trimmed from a few trees. Figured we would take advantage of this little fire and cook our supper there too.

We had some company stop by earlier in the day and they brought a bottle of wine to us. I figured seeing the sun shine again was a good reason to crack it open. I'm not usually a big wine drinker but this was really wonderful and I caught myself a few times wishing we'd had another bottle to open.

We have numerous wine glasses but when outside I just love using these ones. They are made from real mason jars so you just screw a lid on the jar and it keeps all the critters from falling into your drink.
I think we might have to invest in a few of their margarita glasses next. haha

When we seem to spend any amount of time outside, Tigger Kitty likes to be with us so of course he'd followed me across the field when I walked. He walks all around and checks the place out, talking to you the whole time. He really does make me laugh.

Then he was like "ok you lush, I've had enough of you and your tipsy camera clicking" and walked away.
Such attitude from someone who sheds half his fur around my whole house daily without being scolded.

Could he look any more bored with me? Wouldn't even make eye contact with me for this photo no matter how many of those silly kitty attention noises I attempted to make between sips of my wine.

So I poured the last of the wine into my glass, took a big gulp and headed deeper into the woods to see what I could capture with my lens.

Then I saw this piece of wood that had rotted from the inside out and had to try and take a photo of it.As I was getting to the ground to take this angle, I was secretly praying a sleeping mouse would be inside. Also that once down on the ground, that I would be able to stand back up without too much hassle. haha  I'm a very cheap drunk as just those few glasses of wine were beginning to make me tipsy.

Further down the path I stopped and took a few more photos. He had been taking out all the ferns so was difficult to find one to take a picture of.
and there is something that stops me in my tracks about a birch tree. I have beyond enough photos of peeling bark but I never fail to snap at least a dozen more.

By this time, my tummy had started to growl so headed back to shift around the coals and set the grate up for some grilling. We had already inhaled the salad I'd made with the first cutting from our garden of the mesclun mix we'd grown. A few tomatoes, cucumbers and fresh grated Parmesan drizzled with chive vinegar and olive oil added to the mix. The bottom of the dirty bowl didn't seem like anything I needed to take a photo of. haha

The pork chops cooked quickly and perfectly on our little grill. I even remembered to pack some fresh pepper that he sprinkled them with and the Worcestershire sauce. They were eaten up in record time.
(and I will admit that I made sure he got the one that he dropped into the fire when flipping them)

We then headed back up to the farmhouse to relax the rest of the evening away.
These next photos were taken walking back thru our field.

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